"As she, thanks to God, never had any debauched thoughts and even less so any natural lust, there was never any need for her to associate with any male person."
– Ulrika Eleonora Stålhammar
While the discussion is open for how modern labels can fit historical figures, that discussion should always be the opening of a door rather than the shutting of a box. In the case of Ulrika Eleonora Stålhammar there is value in talking about modern identity labels, but to assign one or even a number would be to flatten the reality of her life. Disguising herself as a man to escape marriage and finding herself falling in love and marrying a woman in her new life, this Swedish queer woman has an extensive list of complications that add to her storied life.
Born in 1683 in Svenarum, Stålhammar broke gender roles from a young age. With a love for hunting and riding horses, she avoided tasks that were more traditionally given to women. When her family fell in financial standing after her father’s death, she watched her sisters settle into marriages she viewed as unhappy and didn’t want this fate for herself. So when the threat of marriage to a man was imminent, she put on her father’s clothes and ran away. For this period of her life, she would pass herself off as a man under the name Vilhelm Edsted, and here it becomes necessary to make a note about pronouns.
While there are some signs that Stålhammar may have identified as a man, the evidence is not entirely conclusive. In her case, she chose to dress as a man to get out of what was expected of women. While there were some indicators of her being gender variant for a time, dressing as a man seemed mostly to be a choice driven by the sexist society she was raised in; wanting to avoid the restrictions of womanhood rather than actively identifying as a man. That being said, much of the primary evidence about her life is in Swedish and some of it is inaccessible to an English-speaking researcher, so more may come out and show that she did identify as a man actively throughout her life. If information about that happening reaches the writers/editors of this article, it will be updated as necessary.
Becoming a corporal in the Great Northern War, Stålhammar would sleep in areas away from the men she led. During her time in the military, she met Maria Lönnman, the woman who would be the love of Stålhammar’s life.
Marrying in 1716, the two would reportedly have what was called a “spiritual love”. This is where another bump in the road of research comes in. Most details around Stålhammar and Maria’s love come from the trial they were a part of because of their marriage and Stålhammar’s cross-dressing. Since this is the case, they both may have lied to protect themselves. It is also possible that they told the truth. The major turning point is whether or not they had a sexual relationship. They had intense reasons for denying this, as it was their lack of sexual relationship that resulted in their light sentence. That being said, since it was Stålhammar who turned herself in, it’s also entirely possible she was telling the truth. If she was, she would likely be understood with today's language as asexual. She said of her sexuality:
"As she, thanks to God, never had any debauched thoughts and even less so any natural lust, there was never any need for her to associate with any male person."
She denied that she and Maria ever had sex. While she had good reason to lie about this, and women’s sexuality at the time was considered by many to be nonexistent, there is a good, if not equal, possibility that it was true. In Stålhammar’s statement, it is clear that she was a lesbian, but her level of sexual attraction is open to debate.
In reality, there is a large overlap between the asexual and lesbian community. A woman having a romantic attraction to women without a sexual one was not abnormal throughout queer history. While a portion of this is likely due to misunderstandings of women’s sexuality that were either taken advantage of or believed by women of the time, it cannot be ignored that there was a percentage of these lesbian women who were asexual.
In the case of Stålhammar, there is no certainty, and that is likely true for many queer people in history. This is why the word queer is so helpful; it shows a level of variance without needing to define or ascertain every detail of that reality.
In 1728, encouraged by her family trying to change her, she turned herself in for her crimes and went to trial. During the trial, there was a similar problem to the one that this article faced, in that the court wasn’t quite sure how to define Stålhammar. It didn’t know right away how to punish her for transgressing gender roles and marrying a woman. Since both women spoke out and said that there was no sexual component, as well as Stålhammar’s familial connections, in 1729 Stålhammar was sentenced to one month in jail and Maria to fourteen days. King Frederick I of Sweden would lighten the sentence of physical punishment on Stålhammar, and Maria would only serve seven days.
The two women would go on to live together with the well-connected family member who had helped them through the trial. Stålhammar would die in 1733, still with and evidently still deeply in love with Maria who would take on the role of maid after Stålhammar’s death.
REFERENCES AND FURTHER READING
Disclaimer: some of the sources may contain triggering material
Bauhn, P. (2003). The Value of Courage. Nordic Academic Press. https://www.google.ca/books/edition/The_Value_of_Courage/AYyBEAAAQBAJ
Frost, K. (2020, March 26). Women’s History: “Passing” in a Man’s World. AfterEllen. https://afterellen.com/womens-history-passing-mans-world/
Liliequist, J. (2000) Cross-Dressing and the Perception of Female Same-Sex Desire in Early Modern Sweden. In: Lars-Göran Tedebrand (ed.), Sex, State and Society: Comparative Perspectives on the History of Sexuality (pp. 337-352). Umeå: Nyheternas tryckeri KB i Umeå. https://www.diva-portal.org/smash/get/diva2:1096587/FULLTEXT01.pdf
Neva Ekströmer. (2021). Ulrika Eleonora var Wilhelm Edstedt—En gudfruktig man och syndig kvinna [Södertörn University]. https://www.diva-portal.org/smash/get/diva2:1682927/FULLTEXT01.pdf
Rosenberg, M. (2019). Warriors and Wenches: Sex and Power in Women’s History. Pen and Sword. https://www.diva-portal.org/smash/get/diva2:1682927/FULLTEXT01.pdf
Ulrika Stålhammar—The officer’s daughter who disguised herself as a man. (n.d.). Kalmar County Museum. Retrieved April 28, 2024, from https://kalmarlansmuseum.se/en/podcast/ulrika-stalhammar-the-officers-daughter-who-disguised-herself-as-a-man/