“Love is one step. A goodbye is another…and both must be firm, nothing is forever in life.”

– Chavela Vargas

Some have stepped onto a path of their choosing, and never strayed from it. Chavela Vargas was never that person, which is not to say that she was indecisive, she was clear about who she was and what she wanted from her life, but her path twists and turns through her ninety-three years of life.

Born in Costa Rica on April 17, 1919, from a young age she was drawn to the more traditionally masculine ways of dressing in her culture. It was this attitude that led to her initial conflicts with her family, who were strictly against her expression and would hide her away when people came to visit. It was this along with a discomfort in Costa Rica that pushed her to pursue a career singing in Mexico at the age of seventeen.

Unlike many other stories of people rising to fame, her success did not come after the first plunge. Singing on the street, she would wear the masculine clothes she loved, and it was only when she was thirty that she achieved any notoriety in her chosen field.

Her style of singing mirrored her clothing—something mostly donned by men of the culture. Ranchera music was mostly understood as a way for men in Mexican culture to have an outlet for the emotions they usually felt too ashamed to express under the guise of being drunk and only pursuing the art. So Vargas entered the scene, she was both too equipped and not enough, depending on the perspective, to sing the songs she chose.

On the one hand, the depth of emotion ranchera was used to express was something she was able to access in a way that made up for any lack of professional training. On the other, she was a woman and identified as such. One of the surprise elements that made her more welcome into the men's club was her propensity for drinking.

Going up on stage with a gun, red jorongo, and guitar, she would sing love songs written from men to women and refuse to change the pronouns. It was this in addition to her unique style and confidence that drew people to her, whether they loved or hated her for it.

Her first album was released with the support of famed ranchera singer José Alfredo Jiménez, who would become a friend of Vargas throughout her career. As time passed she released more music and received mountains of praise and hate for her work, finding herself in the company of celebrities and well known throughout Mexico.

One notable connection she made was with Frida Kahlo, another queer woman who she entered a relationship with. But she was not a woman to be tied down and had many relationships of varying lengths with women, including reportedly a one night stand with Ava Gardner after Elizabeth Taylor’s wedding.

Unfortunately, the very thing that people around her encouraged and expected of a woman in her place was what would end her first stint in the spotlight. Succumbing to alcoholism in the 1970’s Vargas more or less disappeared from the public eye, and was eventually nursed back to health with the support of people who had not been in her life or even knew about her fame.

Much of the credit for her recovery belongs to Dr. Alicia Pérez Duarte, her romantic partner during this time who supported Vargas through a difficult time in her life that she would later call “my fifteen years in hell”. It was not a healthy relationship though, as Dr. Alicia Pérez Duarte realized through the process that “Vargas did not need alcohol to be violent” and she left Vargas.

Vargas would hold a grudge against Dr. Alicia Pérez Duarte for this and publicly deny that Dr. Alicia Pérez Duarte had helped her through her addiction, giving credit instead to a shaman.

Returning to singing almost twenty years after she had left, she found a spot for her remained. In 1991 she was able to make her way back to prominence and find wide acceptance of her return, including a performance in Carnegie Hall in 2003 when she was eighty-three.

It was two years after her return that Vargas found one of her largest inspirations; fellow queer artist Federico Garcia Lorca. While staying in a hotel room, she believed Frederico Garcia Lorca’s ghost came to her as a bird, and because of this she would dedicate an album to the man based on his poetry, and form a close bond to his remaining family.

We are also lucky in the fact we know for sure how she would have identified, as at the age of eighty-one she came out publicly as a lesbian. Though she had been open about sleeping with women long before formally proclaiming herself a lesbian, being able to put a label on her experience seemed to comfort her.

She reached the end of her life at ninety-three and spoke publicly about her feelings on death, saying:

“I am proud that I do not owe anybody anything, and it is wonderful to feel free… Now I have the desire to lie down in death’s lap, and I am sure that will be quite beautiful.”

She was right, despite her success, she did not leave behind a large estate as she spent most of her life using her money to keep herself from ever entering anyone’s debt.

It would be hard to argue that Vargas was not a brave woman, taking on challenge after challenge in stride and becoming one of the more iconic artists in her time because of her bold choices. It is equally hard to argue that she was perfect, as much as she had a level of self-determination that few ever find, she also had a level of separation. Pouring out her emotions on stage, she seemed to have trouble keeping long term relationships, both romantic and platonic. Many described her as mysterious, and her longest romantic relationship ended because she was violent, which is inexcusable.

Her longest relationship had always been with herself. And where she failed others, she worked her whole life to keep from failing herself.

[Disclaimer: some of the sources may contain triggering material]

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Pons, E. (2019, March 8). Chavela Vargas was a ‘revolutionary’ who ushered in a new ranchera style. The World. Retrieved from https://www.pri.org/stories/2019-03-08/chavela-vargas-was-revolutionary-who-ushered-new-ranchera-style

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THE RELEVANT QUEER: Critically Acclaimed Mexican Ranchera Music Singer Chavela Vargas, Born April 17, 1919. (2020, April 17). Image Amplified. Retrieved from https://imageamplified.com/the-relevant-queer-critically-acclaimed-mexican-ranchera-music-singer-chavela-vargas-born-april-17-1919-3/#.XwI2g-dME2w

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