Paddy Chew, a Singaporean man with short black hair. He smiles at the camera. He wears a dark suit, a light shirt, a colorful tie, and a red AIDS ribbon.
“I hope there'll be some real changes, than my death will be worth it. I want to see laws against discrimination. But changes like this take a long time. It has to be years of struggle, years of proving your point to people in authority. If my death can have an impact on that, so be it.” – Paddy Chew
If you’ve ever been involved in any kind of queer organizing, or really any queer groups, you’ve likely heard a lot of talk about what it means to live openly and authentically. We talk about the danger and the joy that can come from being open about our queerness, especially when we’re one of few. That idea of being open and vulnerable affects not just us, but the people around us and the people that come after us. How much more vulnerable must it feel, then, to be the first in a community? In a city? In a country? That became a reality for Paddy Chew.
Paddy Chew was born on March 19, 1960, in Katong, Singapore as the youngest child and only boy. He was born during a picnic at Katong Beach, a fact of which he was quite proud. He attended Catholic primary and secondary school in Singapore. After secondary school, Chew wanted to see the world and soon started his career as a flight steward for Singapore Airlines. After thirteen years, he found a new joy: entertainment. He left his job and joined Singapore’s first drag cabaret, the Boom Boom Room. There he organized and planned all of the troupe’s shows, and found success as a cabaret writer.
Chew became familiar with HIV and AIDS around 1986. In 1995, he became ill, but the hospital was unfamiliar with his condition. He ultimately made the diagnosis after being put through a series of medical tests. Though his doctors were hesitant, he insisting on having an HIV test done. When his results were positive, Chew was relieved. For him, knowing meant being able to fight.
By this time, his health was quickly declining. He feared the repercussions if someone were to find out he was positive. He felt that, if someone already believed drag was immoral, they would use him as a further example to push their agenda. Despite the group’s insistence, he made the decision to leave the Boom Boom Room in order to prevent a scandal.
Following his departure, he travelled to Brussels. He did not speak French, and few in Brussels spoke English, but he was determined to access treatment that was unavailable in Singapore. For fear of bothering anyone, especially not his sisters in Australia, he travelled alone and in secret.
Chew came out on December 12, 1998, during the first Singapore AIDS Conference as both bisexual and a person with AIDS. He then became the first Singaporean to come out as having AIDS, though a fellow flight steward was the first patient in Singapore.
Overnight he became a public figure. Nearly anything he said about AIDS in Singapore was printed in local and foreign publications. Media outlets sought interviews and appearances, and his attendance drew attention everywhere he went. The more press he got, however, the more negative press there was. Some publications thought his beliefs were controversial, while others simply thought he was attention-seeking. One publication, Lianhe Zaobao, published a column criticizing him for falling into the “promiscuous bisexual” stereotype.
It’s important to remember that people aren’t stereotypes. Stereotypes are harmful because they lump together a, usually marginalized, group of people and those assumptions generally cause harm for them. It’s wrong and incorrect to say all bisexuals are promiscuous. However, we, as individual bisexuals, are allowed to be promiscuous! Whether or not Chew was promiscuous is irrelevant.
Chew responded to the paper’s nonsense, saying: "I do not mind being famous for winning the Miss Universe crown, or as a singer, or a beautiful face, you know? Who wants to be famous for having AIDS? For goodness sake!... I have seen too many AIDS patients die. Most die alone. There is no warmth, no care for them. They are not ready to die- you can see it in their eyes. I told myself I had to do something worthwhile for myself and for the cause- to clear the path for future patients, so that they will not die like that."
Soon after, he was approached by The Necessary Stage to consult on a production about AIDS. Instead, he pitched his own. He began working on his debut play, an autobiographical piece entitled Completely With/Out Character. While it was a one-man show, he worked alongside various people to bring it to life. Haresh Sharma wrote, Alvin Tan directed, and The Necessary Stage produced the final piece. The finale was Chew standing on stage, partially undressing, and extending his arms, calling the audience to really see his body. By this point, his health had declined significantly and he was quite thin. He followed these performances with a question and answer session, drawing sincere questions like “Do you have any regrets?”
Alfian Sa’at, a playwright and poet, said of the play: "The audience was given the privilege of witnessing a play, which, like its subject, was too aware of its ephemeral existence." The show acted as theatre, education, fundraiser, and so much more. It was an opportunity for Chew to control how his story was told and, hopefully, persuade audiences to really understand the material. The proceeds from each show were donated to Action for AIDS, the organization which hosted the conference where Chew first came out. AfA became another outlet for Chew, and he continued to be an enthusiastic volunteer for the rest of his life.
During one of his interviews about the show, Chew was asked if he was frightened by the idea of death. He said, “Sometimes, sometimes it does. But life is so strange. Even it might seem inevitable to people that I will die from this disease, for all you know I may not. For all you know I might get knocked down by a bus, or be involve in a car crash, heavens know, life is like that.”
About a year after Chew began working on Completely With/Out Character and three months after its final run, he was admitted to the Communicable Disease Centre. He stayed there until his death on August 21, 1999. In his final days, his sister and Alvin Tan sat at his bedside, and he dreamed of writing a book.
Chew’s funeral was held the same afternoon he passed, and in accordance with his wishes, some 80 mourners dressed in bright colours and were greeted by dance music. In her eulogy, his sister said, "He wanted everyone to come, preferably in red, and party with him."
Roy Chan, president of Action for AIDS and a friend, said, "Paddy was a very outspoken person. He had a lot of guts to do what he did. He was selfless and courageous. He did not do it for himself, but for society."
Before his death, Paddy Chew was asked what words he wanted to leave behind. To that, he said: “I hope there'll be some real changes, than my death will be worth it. I want to see laws against discrimination. But changes like this take a long time. It has to be years of struggle, years of proving your point to people in authority. If my death can have an impact on that, so be it.”
While Singapore has not implemented protections for LGBTQ+ citizens, attitudes toward LGBTQ+ are becoming more accepting, particularly amongst young people. In 2015, Zihan Loo presented With/Out at the M1 Singapore Fringe Festival. The performance piece featured three taped performances of Completely With/Out Character, seen publicly for the first time, and was heavily inspired by Paddy Chew’s life and work. Zihan Loo said of the piece, "As a queer person, I have always been inspired by Paddy's strength and fortitude. I often wonder, if I was put in his position, whether I would have the courage to step out like he did."
REFERENCES AND FURTHER READING
Disclaimer: some of the sources may contain triggering material
Chew, P. (1998a, May 15). Paddy Chew had AIDS [Interview]. https://web.archive.org/web/20070926213716/http://kd.mysearch.myway.com/jsp/GGcres.jsp?id=gJe8BtQXuXEJ&su=http%3A%2F%2Fkd.mysearch.myway.com%2Fjsp%2FGGweb.jsp%3Ffr%3D30%26searchfor%3DKumar%2520Boom%2520Boom%2520Room%2520Singapore%26ptnrS%3Dkd%26st%3Dsite%26nsa%3D2%26pg%3DGGweb&u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.newsintercom.org%2Findex.php%3Fitemid%3D56&searchfor=Kumar%20Boom%20Boom%20Room%20Singapore&pg=GGweb
Chew, P. (1998b, December 12). Plenary lecture—AIDS Conference 1998: Facing the Challenge in Singapore. Singapore AIDS Conference, Singapore. https://web.archive.org/web/20050317201229/http://www.afa.org.sg/issue/issue20/discrim.html
Fernandez, C. (n.d.). The Act. https://web.archive.org/web/20050214051649/http://www.afa.org.sg/issue/issue20/without.html
Hamilton, A. (1999, May 21). These Final Days. AsiaWeek.Com. https://web.archive.org/web/20071023095157/http://www.pathfinder.com/asiaweek/99/0521/feat2.html
Ting, L. (2014, October 21). AIDS play about Singapore’s first openly HIV-positive person to open M1 festival. The Straits Times. https://www.straitstimes.com/lifestyle/entertainment/aids-play-about-singapores-first-openly-hiv-positive-person-to-open-m1?page=1
Winder, R. (n.d.). Portraits of AIDS. The Act. https://web.archive.org/web/20050214051456/http://www.afa.org.sg/issue/issue21/portraits.html