A complex issue within the queer community, and looking back we see it has been an issue throughout queer history, is that of adultery. Something often painted as a clear black and white issue becomes blurrier as you look at it through a queer lens. In an ideal world, everyone would communicate with their partners and be transparent about their wants and needs, but that is not the world we live in nor have we ever. The further back you go, the more confusing the decision becomes. It is difficult to pass judgment on a queer person who may have been pressured to marry or enter a relationship for seeking people outside of that arrangement. While there is a glorious history of spouses supporting their queer partners, that is not a universal or even common experience.